Monday, 30 November 2009

advice appreciated!

My Emma! I love her to pieces! She will be 3 on December 19th. I am so thankful to God for my beautiful little girl. She is affectionate, shy, kind, helpful, loves singing and loves painting!

She has been a terrible sleeper from around 6 months old. She is very very clingy with me. Recently she was ill and ended up sleeping in with me and now this is a habit which is proving hard to break. She literally has to cuddle right into me to get back to sleep when she wakes at night and it is beginning to take it's toll. I do enjoy snuggles with her but it is beginning to get a bit suffocating.

What do I do? I am at a total and utter loss. She likes space to sleep and move about and I am sure this is why she likes our bed! I tried putting her in her own bed recently in our room but she wouldn't have any of it! Leaving her to cry isn't an option as she will just come downstairs or wake Jacob.

Has anyone else had a terrible sleeper? What did you do to resolve the problems? I would appreciate any help or advice at all as I am desperate!


  1. LOL, I am THE LAST person to give advice on this matter. My youngest still likes to sleep with us! The only advice I can give is that she will outgrow it! :)

  2. I am so sorry that I have no advice ... my daughter was such an amazing sleeper as a baby. I used the BabyWise books and "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" ... but I tweeted your woes and the link so maybe some happy tweeters will have some suggestions!! ((hugs)) and prayers for rest!

  3. I would suggest a bunch of super special pillows on the floor next to you so when she does fall asleep you can place her there in her own space. We had to do this with our youngest, and we made it all about him.

  4. I agree, she will eventually grow out of it. My son (who just turned three) was a horrible sleeper. From day one (and his sister is the same way...). However, he now sleeps in his own (though a huge full size, since that's what his crib converted to) bed. Our tricks... he's pretty much given up his nap, which makes for an earlier, easier bedtime because he's so tired by the end of the day (when he's sick he still naps though). My husband puts the kids to bed in the same room (though the baby comes in w/ us when she wakes in the middle of the night) and normally he stays in there until one or both are asleep. Sometimes he still lays down w/ Fynn until he falls asleep, but most of the time he's ok w/ daddy standing by the door 'til he falls off to sleep - which is a step in the right direction. I'd suggest doing baby steps if you want her to sleep by herself, starting w/ being in bed w/ her as she drifts, then moving a bit farther each night 'til eventually you're at the door (does that make sense?)
    Man that was wordy, but I hope it helped a little. Hang in there. Sleep is such a difficult thing!!

  5. Sorry, I should have added, using these steps for the middle of the night (since that's your problem time). And again, I know Fynn woke up a lot more at night when he still napped, but every child is so different! Hang in there!

  6. I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is to function without good sleep. We've never had this kind of sleeping issue. Bur recently our 5 year old has taken to getting in our bed in the middle of the night. Not sure what we're going to do about it yet. Here are a couple of things we've done. They worked for us, but like Corinne said, "every child is so different" but our kids always shared a room. If they weren't tired they would talk quietly, I think the company helped them. And now that they are a little older, if one is away at a sleepover, the one left alone will bunk in with the others in their room. They DO NOT like to be in there rooms alone. We also have always played music or stories on CD when they go to bed. They enjoy it and it helps put them to sleep.

    I will pray for you. I hope it is a short lived stage.

  7. My youngest child (now almost grown) was a terrible sleeper. I filled his bed with stuffed animals and gave him a STACK of books with a flashlight. I told him he could read as long as he liked and if he woke up he could read. I also played music in his room. It still took time, but it worked. He read each night to his animals and would fall asleep with books everywhere. It could not have been comfortable, but somehow it worked. He would often wake up and use his flashlight to look at books until he fell asleep, again.
    Blessings, andrea

  8. My son never slept well. He was up every hour on the hour from birth on..he was a preemie. I began giving him what we called, "Big Boy books and a big boy flashlight" as soon as he was old enough to sleep in a regular bed/toddler bed (he was about 2yrs old..I think). At that point I would have done "anything" for I get it. Make this experience FUN and it is a privelege and a treat. Remind her that only special little girls get to go to bed with BIG GIRL BOOKS AND A BIG GIRL FLASHLIGHT. You want her to think it is a big deal...and it is if it works.
    I hope it helps....andrea

  9. I don't have any suggestions but wanted to say I will pray for you. I had no idea Emma was so close in age to my Kaetlyn. Kaetlyn will be 3 on December 27th!

  10. I'm going to rock the boat here folks. The child needs to be "trained" to sleep in her own bed and to fall asleep on her own. If I say administer Biblical disciple, do you know what that means?

    You can explain the rules to the little one before the first night. And put the baby somewhere else during the "training time". The child is to lay in bed without getting out of it or crying and making noise. If either of those things happen, administer discipline. Sit on a chair in her room but ignore her. Just go through the bedtime routine and say goodnight and read a book or something with a low light. She will still sense your presence. Every time she breaks the rules, put her back in bed. (This will probably take 3 or 4 hours the first night)

    On the second night, do the same EXACT procedure (pre-bedtime, bedtime and sitting there).. It will only take an hour or so.

    By the third night, most kids catch on that you are serious about this.

    The child is manipulating you. You need to be strong to teach her security. Our security comes from Jesus--not from clinging to Mom for dear life. Don't be a woos. Be strong.

  11. Well thank you so much for all the great and diverse advice!! It is such a personal thing! I really like all your advice! Organizing Mommy I have tried this!!! I sat over 4 days and yes she did go to sleep eventually but instead of the time decreasing it actually increased!! She also spent the whole time playing with her teddies and wouldn't be quiet! I would have been smacking her every 5 seconds ! Yes she is manipulating me, I totally see that. She is something else!!!
    Love Collette xxx


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