zzzzzzzzz!

Have you ever felt so tired you doze off at the computer? This morning I keep doing it!! Last night Jacob had a few bad dreams and ended up in our bed. This doesn't make for restful sleep for Colin and I but it makes Jacob feel secure.

Emma decided it would be fun to wake at 5.45am and then proceeded to wake her big brother! So today I feel exhausted and I am not long out of bed! I keep staring at the screen then nodding off! I closed my eyes to pray and nodded off! Not good really but once I get going I will be fine!

Who would be a mum? It is the most challenging 'job' I have ever done in my life! We receive no training, no salary, you don't clock off at the end of the day and you can't take a sick day off!

I know that I have a hard day ahead of me if I am already tired and unrefreshed from sleep (or lack of it!). However, I know that I have a wonderful Lord who hears me and knows my circumstances. The Lord hears the prayers of mothers all over the world. He wants to restore us and gives us the strength to face the day ahead. In the darkness of night, when you feel like the only person awake with a child in the world, God is close to you and hears you.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28

Are you perfect?

Why do we women heap so much pressure on ourselves and each other? Even among Christian women!

When I became a ' Christian mum' I had high expectations of myself!

I would breastfeed easily and naturally as "God intended".

I would display the fruits of the Spirit at ALL times; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5: 22-23.

I felt that I should NEVER feel angry towards my child, NEVER feel sad and alone, ALWAYS be in control of myself, faithful to God, patient with my child, loving towards everyone.

Just where do these stereotypes and expectations come from? Ourselves, other Christians around us, we compare ourselves to what we perceive to be 'perfect' Christians around us.

If I am comparing then I failed miserably at being a new Christian mum! Breastfeeding did not come naturally at all to me or my newborn Jacob. It was agony, tearfilled, fumbling around in the dark of the night not knowing if he was getting any nutrition at all. The guilt I felt when switching to bottle feeding was awful. The midwives made you feel bad enough about it!

My fruit had gone bad!!! I felt ANGRY towards my baby, lonely, out of control, angry with God, avoided others and Church. This was how I felt in the midst of Post Natal Depression. I felt as if I was being judged by others as a mum and that my baby would be better off with someone else as their mum.

Women are fed images, ideas, and opinions of others on what a mother should be. It is the same as a Christian mother. Even in the Bible there is scripture which paints a scenario of a Godly woman, Proverbs 31. Something which I have discovered I should aspire to, but is used by some Christians in an all or nothing kind of way. I am not criticising God's word here just showing how it can be misused!

In the thick of mental illness I felt as far away as possible from a Godly woman! Did this make me less of a Christian than those around me? I don't know. I do know that God still loved me! Even when I felt far from Him, angry, and faithless He never stopped loving me. God knows that Christian mums come in all shapes and sizes. We are not Stepford wives. Our relationship with God is the key. I clung to God with my fingernails during this time. I still believed in my head even though my heart was aching.

There is no such thing as a 'perfect' mum. I think we actually need to remind ourselves of this fact. Even the most Godly mum makes mistakes! We mums beat ourselves up too much and place immense pressure on ourselves to be 'perfect' and Godly. While we should aspire to obey God, I think we need to be wary of getting bogged down in legalism about the ins and outs of playing the Christian mum. Surely it is our relationship with God through Jesus that is important.

Psalm Saturday!

¹ May God be gracious to us and bless us
and make his face shine upon us,

² that your ways may be known on earth,
your salvation among all nations.

³ May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.

⁴ May the nations be glad and sing for joy,
for you rule the peoples justly
and guide the nations of the earth.

⁵ May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.

⁶ Then the land will yield its harvest,
and God, our God, will bless us.

⁷ God will bless us,
and all the ends of the earth will fear him.

Psalm 67 NIV.

Lord let this Psalm be my prayer for the nations in our world. Nations that become increasingly secular, those that deny God, and those that persecute Believers.

Thankful Thursday!

Today is when I join Sonya over at Truth 4 the Journey to give thanks to our wonderful Lord for all the blessings in our lives. If you would like to participate then please click on the link and list 5 things you are thankful for!

Thank you Lord for the forgiveness of sin. The sin in my life occurs daily and I am sickened by it. Lord, thank you that I can seek forgiveness at the foot of the cross, in your precious, worthy Son, Jesus Christ.

• Thank you God that Jacob still continues to do well at school! He is still very happy to go and very keen to complete his homework! I am making time in the morning (most mornings) to read from the children's Bible they have and always pray over him for safety.
  

• A husband who loves me and accepts me as I am. I can be poor company sometimes, especially if I have been up at night with Emma! I don't always look my best and yet Colin loves me regardless! I don't know how he does it!

• I am thankful that God provides! Our car had been making strange noises and the local garage said it would probably be the brake pads and power steering. Colin and I were worried because this would cost money! Thankfully the man Colin drives a taxi for is also a mechanic and he fixed the problems on Tuesday free of charge!!! Thank you Lord!

• Emma continues to remain well toilet trained. This was not hard at all and she responded very well to it. I am grateful that God gave me this gift. You may know that Emma has sleep problems at night (not any better!) so I dreaded toilet training. We started in July and she was using the toilet very quickly after that. Now she trots off and manages fine herself most times!

• The older generation. So many of our elderly are forgotten or not given the importance they deserve. I think of my Gran in Glasgow and all the life experience she has had! I learn so much from her. I thank God for the elderly in our Church. They have a wealth of wisdom and experience to share with us if we would only communicate with them and be open to their advice.
  

God's discipline

December 2004 Jacob and mum!

Appearances can be deceiving can't they? Don't I look so happy! I probably was at that precise moment but you don't know the half of it!

I felt anxious, scared, down, cried all the time, avoided people, couldn't cope and that I was the only mum who felt like this. I felt like a bad mum and a failure as a Christian and a mum.

I am writing this today for everyone out there who looks at each other and thinks they have it all together. No one knew I had Post Natal Depression. I didn't have a huge label stuck to me warning people off. On the outside I looked "normal" but inside I was aching and oh so confused.

6 When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken."
7 O LORD, when you favored me, you made my mountain [c] stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.
8 To you, O LORD, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy:

Psalm 30:6-8, NIV.

I was so proud! I never thought I would become ill, I never thought that I would need to admit I couldn't cope with things. I could not be shaken!!! What a humbling I received from the Lord.

I learnt first hand that there is an awful stigma attached to mental illness. I felt ashamed to admit that I was ill. People tend to look for outward, physical signs of illness and it can be hard to understand someone who is ill in this way. I remember being told to "get a grip of myself" and it will be better in the morning. Those who said this meant well but just didn't get it.

I hid my illness for months. Only my hubby knew really and then the Doctor. I hid it from friends at Church. Of course, hindsight tells you that you shouldn't have but in the midst of the suffering you just can't admit it.

I think I want to say more about this to help others. If you are feeling far from the Lord, ashamed, depressed, or anxious as a mum or as a person then don't be afraid to tell someone, anyone you can trust. Speak to God, even if you feel far from him. God still hears you even when you are angry with Him. I felt very angry toward God for "giving me this illness" but I still talked to Him. He was still faithful to me when I wasn't faithful to Him.

I believe God guided me through this period of suffering and disciplined and matured me.

I would not have wished it upon myself. God humbled me, He did not let go of me even though at times I had let go of Him, ministered to me through a wonderful older friend, and has made me rely on Him in EVERYTHING.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11 NIV

I will finish here for now but I think I may write a little more on this experience. I found that as a Christian especially there was a lack of understanding among fellow Christians about mental illness. It is hard if you haven't experienced it directly or indirectly. I read some awful literature about demons and possession and such like. This did not make me feel good at all! And this was Christian literature!

I will leave it at that but am thinking right now I want to write more on how I felt pressured as a Christian mum once I have gathered my thoughts!

Make your Home Sing Monday.

Our home is the white one with the red roof on the left.

Today I am joining Nan over at Moms the Word for Making your Home sing Monday.

32"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Luke 12:32-34 NIV.

Lately I have been very discontented with my lot! I have a lovely home but I have been looking for ways to improve it and change it. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with redecorating and making your home look it's best. However, this has been getting me down lately. As a mum don't you just have to accept mess as part of life ? I do let this get to me and am always looking for ways to store toys, keep things tidy etc.

There are areas in my home that need new decor (mostly upstairs!), new furniture, ceilings painted and so on and on. We aren't in a position to do it all just now at all. The problem for me here is that I have been allowing myself to become unhappy about it all and am constantly looking at what is wrong with my home instead of what is right!

We have a roof over our heads! We have two spacious bedrooms, one of which the kids can share for several years to come, then we need to rethink! We have a beautiful bathroom with a shower I have always wanted! I have a downstairs toilet which is a blessing with toilet training kids! We didn't have central heating when we first bought the house and now we do!

A few years ago, the downstairs of our home was flooded as a result of local flash floods. It was a terrible mess which resulted in us all having to live with my lovely in laws for 5 months. The bottom of our home was ripped out and redone. Thankfully our home insurance covered all of this! We were richly blessed with a kitchen we would never have been able to afford while I stayed at home. A lovely living room and fresh decor all over the bottom of our home. Floorboards were replaced, a new stove, new plastering and so on.

I have included some before and after pictures of the work that went on in our house.

So I have no right whatsoever to be unhappy with my lot! Today I am making my home sing by remembering what is good about it and all the happy memories and trying to enjoy even having a home I can call my own!

Psalm Saturday

Hello! Welcome to another Psalm Saturday. Today I want to think about Psalm 22. This is what is often called a "Messianic" Psalm. A Psalm which speaks of Jesus. Psalm 22 is amazing because of how it speaks of Jesus suffering on the cross.

We think we suffer in our lives! Our suffering is nothing compared to that which Jesus encountered on the cross.

6 But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men and despised by the people.

7 All who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads:
8 "He trusts in the LORD; let the LORD rescue him. Let him deliver him, since he delights in him."

16 Dogs have surrounded me; a band of evil men has encircled me, they have pierced [c] my hands and my feet.

17 I can count all my bones; people stare and gloat over me.
18 They divide my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing.

Psalm 22 NIV.

I am blown away when I read this Psalm. Isaiah 53 also foretells the death of Jesus. If you have never read it then please do so because this will blow you away too! Reading these passages from the Bible cements my faith in Christ Jesus completely.

I also have a heavy heart when I read the details of the Lord's suffering anywhere in the Bible. The suffering I experience in this world is nothing compared to that of Jesus. Has anyone noticed how nowadays we are all so hung up on our "rights"? We don't like it when someone offends us, criticises our faith, or wrongs us in some way. What does Paul have to say ?

9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Cor:12 NIV

As Christians we cannot shut the door on the world and not expose ourselves or our children to such things. It will make them stronger!!!! It says so! These verses confirm my decision about sending the kids to school even more. Life as a Christian isn't an easy ride. It isn't meant to be! We are meant to suffer, and we are supposed to delight in our weaknesses and sufferings because of Jesus. For his sake!

Today I want to thank God for showing me Psalm 22 and reminding me of what Christ suffered on the cross for YOU and ME! When someone criticises me for my beliefs then I shall rejoice, when I find things so so hard, I shall give thanks to God, when I suffer I shall think of Jesus.

Will you do the same today?

I just have to talk about this!

Lately I have been reading lots of posts about Biblical Truths, obeying God, how we should be raising our children, homeschooling vs public schooling and a woman's role in the home according to God.

My heart has been saddened by some of what I read. Shouldn't we as mums be united in motherhood and supportive? Instead we judge and are opinionated very openly about what WE think the Bible tells us. Some are very dogmatic about this and will not budge.

I agree that the Bible is our textbook for living. I examine everything using the scriptures. I want to obey God with all my heart in the big and small things.

I don't think that because I send my child to public school that I am disobeying God. I don't think that because I am going to send my daughter to pre- school that I am disobeying God. I have thought long and hard on this and prayed so much and these are the conclusions I have come to.

The whole home school issue is just not as much of a hot potato here in the UK as in the US. People do it here but just not to the same extent. Does that mean that all Christians who don't are being disobedient?

These issues remind me of the head covering issue. I remember struggling with the idea of this when I first became a Christian. However, that is for another blog post!

I just wish that as Christians we would have more understanding towards each other. We should be united not divided.

The main thing is that parents stay engaged with their children, immerse them in God's word, pray with them and for them, love them immensely, are part of a thriving, vibrant Church of fellow Believers passionate about the Lord!

The influence of other friends and family cannot be discounted. Church fellowship is so vital to our children as well. They need others they can go to as well as mum and dad. My friends are so important to me and I would confidently allow any of my kids to talk to any of our Christian friends knowing that they would receive sound advice and counsel.



How can you learn to defend what you believe if you have never been put in that position? I know for kids that being a Christian in the world can be hard. However we need to trust God to protect them and strengthen our kids. For a while I was so so worried about this with Jacob. However, through the advice of people wiser than myself ( you know who you are ;) ) I have come to realise that it really is all about trust and prayer.



Jacob will learn that being a Christian is not always easy and accepted in the wider world. Paul speaks so much about suffering and how ours is nothing compared to that of Christ. I think we forget this and try to wrap our little ones up too much. How can they grow in faith if they are not able to discuss why they believe what they do with others? It is good to be challenged because this makes you really think about your faith! I remember being challenged very directly about my faith by some work colleagues not long after I became a Christian. It was scary and I felt very shaken by it but I was so proud that I had obeyed God and stood up for what I believed in!



I hope I haven't offended anyone in discussing these issues! It's just that they have been running around my head for several weeks now and I felt really moved to say something about how I feel about it all. Especially since I live in the UK where there is such a different climate about schooling. I think that families who home school are fantastic and gifted! It is a lovely thing to do with your children if that is what they want.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Romans 8:18 (NIV)

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;

Romans 5:3 (NIV)

Please feel free to comment on what you think and what your experiences are of obeying God!

Resist the Devil!

I am sorry if it seems that I have been neglecting my blog and my bloggy friends! Why is it that I now have one at school and only one at home but I feel busier than ever????

During the day Jacob is not around to entertain Emma so this job falls to me! Emma is loving having me around and to herself. Yesterday we made necklaces from beads I had left over from jewellery making. She totally loved this and did it for over an hour!

I am enjoying all this time with her. God is showing me the joys of having a little girl! I am able to do girly things with her and will be able to do more and more as she gets older! It is great fun.

Getting ready for school in the morning takes at least an hour. I have the two to get organised so it can be time consuming. Especially when they dawdle. Jacob takes ages to get dressed and then Emma plays the chase me game! She loves coming down to drop Jacob at school though! Even if it is only for 5 mins.

On Monday some of the girls from our Church (and two guys!), visited the school's assembly to tell them all about our Sunday school, The Good News Club which starts again Sep 27th. The kids seemed keen and Jacob was happy to see his friends from Church visiting the school. I am thankful that God gave the girls from Church this opportunity. The UK is fast becoming secular but it is fantastic that the local schools were welcoming to our Church people and their invitation to the kids to come along to Sunday school. I know there are schools out there that just would not have this at all!

I got to look after a gorgeous baby on Monday afternoon while on of my friends visited the school. It was great fun and this baby is going to be a big sister!!!! More wonderful news we received last night!

God is doing amazing things in our Church just now. Families are coming and growing all the time. Church is such a vibrant mix of young and old. There are two new babies due now!! Our creche just grows and grows!!

People are feeling drawn to return to our Church and are bringing their family with them. It is such an exciting time and we need to ensure we protect every inch of it.

We need to remain united and not let the Devil steal any of our joy or unity. I know that he will try to destroy what we have built and as Believers in the Lord Jesus we cannot allow this to happen.

How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!

Psalm 133:1(NIV)

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,

Romans 15:5(NIV)

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:3 (NIV)

7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7 (NIV)

JOY!

Today I am linking up with Teri Lynne at Pleasing to You. She is celebrating her 100th post and is talking about Joy!

When I think of the word Joy I think of the acronym ; -
J esus
O thers
Y ourself.

I remember reading this in a new Believers Bible when I had only been a Christian for a short while.

How easy do we find it to live out our lives in this way? How hard is it? I find it difficult in the ordinary day to day. When I am at our Toddlers group, Sunday school or Church I am better at this. However, at home I become selfish all too quickly. Wanting to do what pleases me, wanting "me time"! I forget that Jesus is everywhere and I should not resort to laziness and selfishness even in the home.

At home I am there to serve my kids, my hubby but ultimately Jesus. I can do this by opening my home to others, reading my Bible and honouring God in all I do. Easier said than done though!! This is my aim, to always put Jesus first and foremost.

This is my prayer for today!

Psalm Saturday.

Wow this is my 100th post! I must talk too much! Today is Psalm Saturday, when I share what I have been reading from the Psalms. Feel free to join in! My friend Deb at One Single Minute has written a wonderful post on one of the Psalms today. Please take a look!

3 Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Psalm 141:3 NIV.

I often wish God would do this! That he would make me bite my tongue or put up a guard to stop my lips from uttering pointless, hurtful words. This week I haven't been the most pleasant wife to be around. Poor Colin has suffered! I have been impatient, snappish and just not the nicest of people to be around.

It seems like no matter how hard I try I just cannot hold my tongue. It feels terrible to be so out of control in this area. Thankfully I have a loving husband of 7 years (on Monday!!!) who knows me warts and all and loves me regardless. I honestly don't know how he puts up with me sometimes!

So today may it be my prayer that God guards my big mouth and I truly think before I speak!

Never forget.

Colin and I watched this programme about 9/11 on Tuesday evening; 102 minutes that changed America.
This eyewitness account of what happened on the ground 8 years ago today was disturbing but insightful. I was at work in a Stockbrokers call centre in Glasgow when it happened. We had large TV screens in the office and I remember seeing the scenes. I thought it was a movie or some kind of sick hoax. We all soon realised it was for real and were stunned into silence.

Watching this film about that terrible day was very hard. I wondered why God would allow so much suffering. My heart goes out to all those who have suffered as a result of such a horrific act of violence towards fellow humans. It is a dreadful reminder of how our world can be such an evil place and the fight we face. I am glad I watched it however. It is so vital to remember these events and the people who were victims of this tragedy. The footage served as a timely reminder of an event that changed lives, history and the world.

Today I pray for those families who have to get through today and the rest of their lives without loved ones. I thank God for his faithfulness to all those who believe in Him. Even in the midst of confusion God is there for us. We may not understand all that goes on in this world but we have Him to rely upon.

He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.

Deuteronomy 32:4 NIV.

Thankful Thursday!

Today is when I list 5 things I am thankful to God for over the last week or just generally. If you would like to participate then please pop over to Sonya's blog, Truth 4 the Journey.

• I am thankful for some dry weather! The last few weeks seem to have been permanent heavy rain. This has meant very few walks for Emma and I. Yesterday was lovely, sunny and dry. Emma and I really enjoyed a dry walk round to visit friends.

• God has answered my prayers about Jacob and his first few weeks at school. He is really interested in his school work. He is very keen to practice his new writing skills, letters, numbers, and words that he has learned at home. I am noticing how diligent he has become and am discovering this is one of his qualities.
  

• My mum! There is no one like a mum for telling you like it is! I can always rely on a truthful answer to any of my questions. If I ask for advice then she isn't wishy washy with it. I love my mum dearly and am so so thankful to God for giving me such a great mum.
  

• God's patience and love. I have not been very faithful this week. I haven't read my Bible as much as I would like to. I haven't prayed as much as I would like to. My attitude hasn't been as it should be. I don't like me very much this week!!! BUT we have a wonderful, loving Father in heaven who loves his children so much. I said to Colin last night how undeserving we are of this love. What does God see in us worth loving? Thank you for Jesus and his great sacrifice to allow us to be free from our sin.
  

• Another Bible study beginning soon at Church. We will be studying 1 Peter this time and I can't wait!

So what are you thankful to our wonderful Lord for?

3 rows done!

Well I have finally got some photos of the beginnings of my first ever quilt! I am hand sewing and only managing an hour here and there, hence the slow nature of my work! I am quite pleased with it so far. Only 4 rows to go and then need to seam them all together. My sewing isn't the neatest in the world but it is secure and the more I practice the better it gets.

I am finding the method very relaxing and sitting in the quiet is really pleasant. I pray and talk to God and sing choruses in my head. It is a lovely contemplative way to spend a few hours in the evening.

² He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,

³ he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Psalm 23: 2-3, NIV.

Second Chances!

This is our favourite veggie tales song in the house at the moment! Jacob got this movie as a birthday present and watches it daily just now! Isn't it amazing how our God is indeed a God of second chances?

We have finished studying the book of Jonah at Church and all have learned so much from it. This film has really brought the story alive to the kids, Colin and I !!!! Of course it can never replace reading the story from the Bible. I just think it is wonderful for the kids to get excited about God and this is one way to help them get it.

If Jonah, a Prophet of God got a second chance then so can we!! We don't deserve it in our eyes. When we look at how we continually sin again and again and yet God forgives us for that, it is hard to fathom why he would forgive us. But he does because he wants to have a relationship with us. As a mum I love my kids even when they do bad things repeatedly. But I don't love their sinful behaviour. They are learning all the time and to an extent so are we! Being a mum has given me a new perspective on the way God loves us and forgives us. Dads will experience this too.

So this is how I am going to make my home sing today! Literally sing about God and His second chances.

Psalm Saturday

Today is when I share a Psalm that has spoken to me this week. Feel free to do the same!

¹ Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.
Psalm 127:1 NIV.

I came across this verse while reading the Psalms and it reminded me of how our homes should be God centered. I remember when Colin and I were due to be married, the pastor who was marrying us told us that there should be a third person in our marriage. God. It is the same for our homes also. All things come from this. If we live in a God focused home then our children will be influenced by this. If we love the world and live in a worldly home then this impacts on our kids too.

I posted recently on this topic here.

I am praying and striving to make my home one which is built upon the love of the Lord. I thank God for reminding me about this!

Have a wonderful weekend!

O Happy Day!

This Sunday at Church we have a Baptism of a lovely lady who has given her life to Jesus. I am so excited about this because it is always a celebration. The kids at Church are fascinated by the pool and the whole process as well. It is a great way for them to learn practically about being a Christian and publicly declaring your faith.

I remember clearly the joy I felt after being baptised at my Church. It was amazing and is so hard to put into words. It's not always an easy thing to do however. If you don't have the support of your family or come from a non Christian background (I do ), then it can make things difficult when explaining why you are doing this and even whether or not family attend.

¹⁹Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in^a]">[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

Matthew 28:19 NIV.

I decided to be baptised because Jesus said that I should do this. I made the decision in my head and heart to ask Jesus to forgive my sins and that I would follow him and give my life to him. However, I always knew I had something else to do and this was it. It is not the Baptism that makes us a Christian. That is a decision between our self and Jesus and he knows our heart. Baptism, to me, is a public display to all gathered that you have made this decision and are now obeying Jesus, as your saviour. The washing away of sin and coming up and out of the water clean, new, changed, full of joy, hope, brimming with love of the Lord.

It is a powerful form of witness to anyone who doesn't know Jesus. It is the start of a wonderful journey with God. A memory that stays with you forever.

If you don't believe in Jesus but read this blog, please think about it. I did not become a Christian until later in life. I lead what I thought was a "good" life. When I was lead to the Bible and God's word, it was like I could finally see things clearly. I am so thankful to God for allowing Jesus to die on the cross. All you have to do is ask God to forgive you for your sins. All the bad things we do, have done and continue to do. God forgives us if we just ask and accept Jesus as our saviour. God really wants to be in your life if you would only let Him. He loves you so so much and has so many wonderful things in store for you if you would only accept Him.

It's up to you.

Love Collette xxx

Thankful Thursday!

Time for another day of thankfulness to our Lord and Saviour and all he has done for us! To join in with Sonya and the others click here for Thankful Thursday.

My list of 5 things this week are;

• Time to spend with my daughter Emma. Jacob is at school all day now and although I miss him terribly this does mean that I get to spend quality time with Emma.
  

• Answered prayer! Do we give thanks enough for God's answers to our prayers? It is easy to forget! This week I am thanking God for watching over Jacob at school and that he is answering these prayers.
  

• Friends you can rely on who will pray for your situation.

• God prompting me to open my home more to others. I am not a natural hostess but the more I open my home the easier it becomes.
  

• I am thankful that God continues to use his word to speak to me. We have recently completed a study of Jonah at Church. Thank goodness we have a God of second chances!!!
  

So what are you thankful for this week?

Seasons in life

I have been a little confused this week! Hence the lack of posts! You see this has been Jacob's first week of full days in at school. The hours are 9am until 3pm. I have found this very strange to say the least. Emma and Colin and have too! Jacob is loving it and has settled in fine. No falling asleep in the classroom for my boy! However, I have been finding it unsettling.

Oh how I longed for the day when I got a little more free time with one at school! How foolish of me because now I just miss him dearly. Emma misses him too. The house is too quiet without him. Although Emma is trying to make up for that! The good thing is that I am getting so much quality time with my wee girl and she is actually blossoming because of it. I can see that already.

I think it will just take some time to get used to. When Jacob comes home from school he gets the best of us all. We have been spending time as a family and just having fun together. Coming home at 3pm is great because he still has lots of the afternoon and early evening left to be with us. He also rises early in the morning so I get to spend time with him then also. Emma is so excited to see him and today he had homework and got on great with it! He has learnt so much in such a short space of time and is taking it all in like a little sponge!

In the morning I have been reading from my Bible to the kids. I have also been praying before taking them down to school. We have been reading Bible stories at bedtime as well.

I suppose the confusion I have been feeling is just a requirement to adjust to a new routine. Just having one small child around during the day is a breeze compared to two. When Emma naps I am actually able to have a nap if I need one now!! I am not enjoying this sense of loss I am feeling but he has to learn and at the moment school is the best place for him to do this. I just need to enjoy this chance to spend more time with Emma. She really doesn't get much of a voice when Jacob is around. He is so demanding and she really has to shout to get her voice heard when Jacob is here. So I think this will do her a great deal of good.

I have rambled on here but these are just my thoughts on things at the moment! I think I will return to some degree of normality in the next week or so!

Happy Birthday Jacob!

My baby boy is 5 today!!! Happy Birthday Jacob. You are my wonderful, clever, talkative little lad who I can't believe is 5 already. You are so full of energy! As a baby you would lie on your changing mat constantly kicking those long legs of yours! You barely napped as a baby but loved your sleep at night.

So much has happened in your short 5 years here on earth! God formed you in my womb and knew that you would be a blessing and a gift to Colin and I. Already you know God and have begun your journey with Him. You gave your life to him recently and you constantly amaze me with your questions and understanding. I am sure God has great things in store for you.

You have begun Primary school and been a brave wee boy about it all, taking it all in your stride! Now I am having to let go of you a little and even although I am finding it harder than I thought, I know that God is watching over you. He has only good plans for you. He loves you even more than Dad and I. I cannot begin to fathom how much that must be!!

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11.