Friday 17 July 2009

Do you ever feel not good enough for God?


I have been putting this admission off for long enough now! I am really struggling with the kids at the moment!

Jacob and Emma have become a kind of Bonnie and Clyde double act. They are now partners in crime setting out to see how angry they can make mummy! My two little darlings think it is hilarious to disobey me together and whisper instructions of disobedience to each other!

They aren't bad children as such, in fact they can be pretty good kids. I have resigned myself to this being a phase that I need to consistently discipline. However, yesterday and recently I have been allowing it all to get me a little down, disheartened and doubting my ability as a mum. I sometimes think God has wrongly placed me in my role as a mum and that I just don't cut the mustard and be the mum he wants me to be.

I feel (as all mums do!), guilty about everything! Guilty if I don't stimulate them enough with a structured day of educational activities, or fail to make their day fun, that they don't get enough exercise, fresh air or too much TV. I know it is wrong to beat ourselves up about these things but there is a little part of me that just can't help it.

In my rational head I know that these feelings are ridiculous and have no real basis. A great friend, who helped me deal with Post Natal depression, once told me that when we judge ourselves in these ways, we are doing this by the world's standards and relying upon ourselves to deal with difficulties in life. We need to look at these things from God's view.

God doesn't see us as not good enough. He loves us and loved us so much that he sent Jesus to this world to die for us and our sins! God wants to use us and sees things in us that we don't see in ourselves. I love these verses about God's power in our weakness:

" 7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians; 12 NIV.

When I struggle with life and get fed up, I am neglecting to seek God in all of this. God wants us to lean on him at all times. I alone cannot deal with the behaviour and discipline of my kids, I have a husband to help me, but I also have to give this over to the Lord as well and trust that he is there and answers prayers.



9 comments:

  1. Stopping by from SITS to give a little blog ♥

    Yes, I feel that way too. It is hard to feel "good enough"

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  2. That is so true. I read another blog the other day that was talking about something similiar and said that we cannot do it in ourselves but it is IN Him that we can do all things. So we need to stay IN Him even being a Mom. I love that.
    Great post too. We have all been through the guilty phase. But IN Him we don't have to be or feel guilty.
    Mimi
    Thanks for stopping by the 5 moms blog today.

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  3. Wow, this is such a good post and something I have gone through many times. It is hard as mother to not get beat down and think we aren't good enough! You are a terrific mom and are doing great! I hope you have a beautiful and blessed weekend! Take care

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  4. I am positive you are an awesome Mom...which then makes it clear why satan is trying to make you doubt that. Don't give in to the lies of the enemy who would love it if you would give up so he could take over your children. Keep on keepin' on my friend!!! Greater is He Who is in you than he who is in the world!
    Love ya!
    Deb

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  5. I love your post. All moms go through what your going through. You are exactly the mom God wanted those kids to have. Don't listen to the lies Satan whispers in your ear.

    Have a great weekend.

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  6. So honest, one of the qualities I really admire about you. You write about real life issues and apply God's word to them. You say-this is what I am dealing with and-this is what God's word says to do about them. Always encouraging for others! Those pics are of my sis and I did take them. Thanks for the compliment! I updated the post to be more descriptive.

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  7. Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!!

    I think all of us feel this way sometimes. Satan knows how important moms are, so he does his best to knock us down. Luckily we have a higher source to turn to!

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  8. Aren't you glad we have His arms to fall into?
    I'm so thankful that He is the ultimate parent.

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